Waiting for your Return
In preparation for a Halaqa on change, I read the story of Kab ibn Malik (R). What shook me upon this reading was the Prophet (S)’s instinct to assume the best of him, to root for him, and what that reveals about people who fall behind.
“The Messenger of Allah sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam did not remember me until he arrived in Tabuk. He was sitting amongst his people in Tabuk and asked, ‘What happened to Ka’ab?’
A man from amongst the tribe of Bani Salimah responded: ‘O Messenger of Allah, he was hindered by his garments and pleasure for his clothes and his self.’
“Mu’adh ibn Jabal said: ‘What a wretched statement you have uttered. O Messenger of Allah, we do not know of him save goodness.’
“Hence, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu ’alayhi wa sallam became silent. Whilst he was in that position, he saw a man clothed in a white garment real in essence (not merely a desert mirage). The Messenger of Allah sallallahu ’alayhi wa sallam said: ‘May it be Abu Khaythama al-Ansari; he was the one who donated a measure of dates when the Munafiqin (Hypocrites) defamed him.’
The Prophet (S) knew about his ummah. He knew his companions. He knew when they were present. He knew when they were missing. When it was clear that Kab was lagging behind, the Prophet (S) wished that Kab would catch up. He wanted his companions to succeed and assumed the best of them. We then read about an unnamed man insulting Kab.
’O Messenger of Allah, he was hindered by his garments and pleasure for his clothes and his self.’
This comment mirrors how many of us would respond today. The impulse to explain someone’s absence in the worst possible way hasn’t died. When I read that statement, I chuckled and thought to myself, this man might as well be from New Jersey. I recognize how easy it is to slip into judging, narrating someone’s failure, and even enjoying it. Perhaps it makes us feel better about our own shortcomings temporarily. It gives us something to talk about temporarily—something to distract us from the lack of progress we are making.
Today, when we hear about a mistake or a controversy, we almost gleefully take screenshots, pass it around on WhatsApp, and discuss it endlessly. What does this reveal about ourselves? Why are we so happy when the shortcomings and sins of others are exposed? Shouldn’t we be sad? Shouldn’t we want goodness for others? I predict that there will be no shortage of controversy over the coming months and years involving our rapidly growing community. Some of these controversies are organic, and others are planned.
It’s important to remember that a day is coming when our own “screenshots” will be presented back to us. On that day, we’ll beg for mercy. So before that day arrives, when someone else’s flaws are placed in front of us, let us respond with the mercy we hope Allah will show us on the Day of Judgment.
When news of Kab’s repentance became public, the entire community of believers came out to celebrate. The Prophet (S) rejoiced and told Kab, “I give you the glad tidings of the best day you have witnessed since your mother gave birth to you.”
Kab asked the Prophet (S), because he was worried about his hypocrisy, “Is this from you or from Allah?” He responded, “It is from Allah.”
How many of us are truly ready to be a prophetic community? An ummah that holds back our tongues with sadness when someone messes up. An ummah that makes dua for people to come back, and an ummah that celebrates their return louder than their fall?
